“Fundamentally, people are suckers for the truth.”

Donald Sutherland, JFK, RIP

Song: Dear Me – Eric Hutchinson

Article: Assume Lack of Context by Seth Godin

Thought: I was following behind a truck pulling a boat on the highway. They had failed to secure all the paper products in the boat and it was pouring a mixture of plates and napkins all over the place. So much litter and possibly dangerous to others. My first thought was “what an asshole.” I wish my first thought had been “I bet they don’t know and would probably be so embarrassed.”

I have a Hebrew tattoo that reads in English “let the words of my mouth and the inspiration of my heart be pleasing in your sight.” I got it when I was much more religious as a reminder to speak and think kindly. I thought I knew how hard that was at 30. At 40, I realize I don’t have a clue how truly difficult that is (see paragraph 1).

I’ve become quite disillusioned by friendships. I’m a fairly connected person who likes to reach out in whatever way available (in-person at a conference, text, call, insta, etc.). I’m realistic these days that people tend to be very busy and the over-saturation of tech can just be overwhelming leading to disconnecting. I don’t subscribe to “if they could or cared, they would” anymore. I’ve also come to realize that I’m just not everyone’s favorite flavor (a difficult truth for a recovering people pleaser). If you are reading this, it’s unlikely I’m referring to you.

I wish my first thought when I don’t heart back over a text, email, call, etc. was “I hope everything is okay and they are probably just swamped.” Usually it goes more like “oh no, what did I do? Why don’t they like me? How do I repair this?” In some instances, it’s “fuck um.” Pretty antithetical to the tattoo on my arm and my values.

For those I harm with words and actions (intentionally or unintentionally), I will show up to take accountability with humility. If that’s you, and you are willing, I’m eager to find reconciliation over anything, anytime collaboratively. Vulnerability is one of my values.

More often that not, I haven’t done anything harmful enough to not hear back within a responsible amount of time (hours, days, a week) as the situation would warrant. Ghosting is one of the worst things for an anxious, people-loving person. So what’s the answer? Boundaries. I just need to say “okay,” grieve it fully and move forward with those who do show up. It’s not the answer I really want but it’s the candid self talk I need. I can wish everyone well on their journey remembering “kind words, helpful thoughts.”

“A naive dream is that it’s possible to go on a long bike ride – and enjoy the journey going downhill in each direction”

Seth Godin, Daily Calendar (April 5)

Song: Wishing Well by Juice WRLD

Article: Analyzing the last move by Seth Godin

Thought: This is typical my least favorite sport season but it’s been surprisingly more enjoyable thanks to Women’s basketball. I really miss football. I’ve been thinking about drives, games and seasons. 

Every drive is a chance to score or prevent the other team from scoring. You can score on a lot of drives but if you don’t win the game, then it doesn’t make much of a difference. You can win a bunch of games but if you don’t make the playoffs, then it’s not a big deal. Only one team wins their last game and gets the hardware. 

Better to lose a few games and fail on a few drives than lose the last game. How many people remember who came in 4th at the end of the season? Anyone remember who lost the Super Bowl 5 years ago? You don’t question much when you have small(er) wins along the way but a failure can lead to bigger success when you learn from it. The perfect season doesn’t exist (unless you are the South Carolina Women apparently) but a winning one is possible every year.

” For there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”

Hamlet: Act II, Scene II

Song: WOM by Definitely Maybe

Article: Revalue and Reprioritize – December Power Path

Thought: Dealing with a leaky roof can be a persistent issue, especially in a place like Idaho where extreme weather conditions, from scorching summers to freezing winters, take a toll on roofs. It’s a challenge that has surfaced for the second consecutive winter within my condo, highlighting the harsh impact of weather fluctuations on the roof’s crucial components. Much like a leaky roof, our personal growth can also experience setbacks that require ongoing attention.

Just as Idaho’s climate subjects roofs to stress, water puts strain on joints and seams, crucial elements of a roof’s integrity. Similarly, personal growth faces its own stresses, often manifesting as irrational thoughts and emotions. Addressing these issues demands a proactive approach, much like tending to a leaky roof before it causes further damage.

For my growth, I’ve invested years in therapy to confront and rectify irrational thoughts. While I believed I had successfully repaired certain aspects, cracks have emerged, allowing irrational thoughts to persist. These thoughts, akin to leaks, find their way from my mind to my heart, emphasizing the importance of continual maintenance and self-reflection.

The process of fixing both a leaky roof and personal issues involves a consistent methodology: identify the source, patch the crack, test the solution, and commit to ongoing inspection and maintenance. There are no shortcuts; it requires dedication, focus, and hard work.

When water starts pouring in, whether through a roof or into our minds, the solution remains the same. Address the issue promptly, clean up the aftermath, and take proactive measures to prevent further damage. After all, it’s better to have one well-resolved problem than to allow issues to multiply and compromise our well-being from both within and outside.

“Authenticity is not about expressing every opinion you hold. It’s about ensuring that what you voice reflects what you value.”

Adam Grant

Song: Villain by Julia Wolf

Thought: Humans have often made questionable decisions, prompting some to suggest delegating certain choices to Artificial Intelligence (AI). But should we?

I went to see Oppenheimer, which made me ponder the impact of our choices. Nukes were going to happen with or without Robert Oppenheimer so was it better or worse for him to be a part of its creation? The more important question is whether or not he could bear the responsibility of having been involved.

AI excels at making mathematically precise decisions. AI can provide you with the most scientifically, optimized, nutritional plan to maximize your health. AI can end wars faster with fewer casualties (on your side). AI can select the most qualified candidates for jobs based on multi-factor decisions. AI can teach and grade students objectively against standards.

Yet, should we solely rely on AI? AI cannot mimic empathy; empathy isn’t a mathematical formula. It may have the appearance of empathy but that’s one area we mortals still have an advantage. Let’s not hastily surrender decisions that extend beyond simple arithmetic.

“Without ownership, there is no learning and evolution. Only pointed fingers.”

John Kim & Vanessa Bannett, It’s Not Me, It’s You.

Song: Something Real by Post Malone

Thought: Mountain biking is a thrilling sport that demands athleticism, unwavering focus, and a wealth of experience to really enjoy. However, last weekend, I discovered that a fourth ability is equally crucial: the determination to try again. The holiday provided me with a few opportunities to hit the trails, and despite my regular sessions at the gym, I quickly realized that nothing can truly substitute the unique demands that biking places on both body and mind.

My go-to trail, Shane’s Loop, requires a bit of a warm-up before even reaching the trailhead. Usually, I’m pumped and ready to roll by the time I arrive. However, this time was different. Exhaustion set in before I even reached the starting point. Nevertheless, I pushed forward, determined to conquer the trail. Sadly, it wasn’t my physical abilities that fell short, but rather my mental state. Doubts crept in, convincing me that I simply couldn’t make it. This negative mindset led to feelings of fatigue, weakness, and being completely overwhelmed. Frustrated, I turned back, my spirit defeated. Looking back, a brief rest before that final ascent would have likely made all the difference. It’s remarkable how something as simple as rest can be a powerful act of rebellion against the prevailing ‘keep moving’ mentality.

Later that weekend, I decided to give it another shot, and this time, I conquered it. Physically, I was even more fatigued compared to my first attempt, but this time, I powered through effortlessly. What had changed? A bit more rest and regular breaks along the way. In retrospect, who cares if I took an extra 5 minutes? I wasn’t in a race, and there was no one else riding alongside me. That day, that trail, and that moment were solely mine.

Are you feeling stuck, whether on a mountain trail or in life? Perhaps it’s time to embrace the power of rest and give it another shot. Remember, sometimes the greatest victories are born from the willingness to try again, armed with the wisdom of knowing when to pause and recharge.

“Our values determine the metrics by which we measure ourselves and everyone else”

Mark Manson

Song: Chemical by Post Malone

Article: Significant work is a vote by Seth Godin

Thought: It’s almost football season again, which got me thinking about passing yards. Here’s a list of things that happen to make a completed pass:

• A General Manager and advisors assemble a team
• The Owner, lawyers and agents negotiate the contracts
• Trainers and staff get players stronger and faster
• Medical staff keep players on the field with treatment
• Coaches create, teach and practice the play repeatedly
• Everyone makes it to the stadium that day
• The Head Coach calls the play and communicates it to the QB
• The Offensive Line puts the ball in motion and blocks effectively
• The WR runs the correct route and the other WRs run their routes
• The QB throws to the correct spot where the WR will be with the correct weight and accuracy
• The WR makes the catch and holds onto the ball as tackled
• No one on the team commits a penalty
• No one on the defensive disrupts the play

I’m sure I missed a few steps but you get the point. The only two people who get credit for the pass are the QB and WR in the form of “yards”. It’s basically the last people who touch the ball who end up with all the measurable metrics. This analogy is why I don’t believe in measuring individual’s metrics because even something as simple as a pass takes a tremendous amount of team effort. All this happens while 11 players (and hundreds of supporting cast) are trying to prevent it on the other side.

You want a more accurate metric – measure the team, not the individual and reward the team accordingly. Measure the effort to get to the outcome and not just the outcome.

No one’s coming. No one. No one’s coming to push you; no one’s coming to tell you to turn the TV off; no one’s coming to tell you to get out the door and exercise; nobody’s coming to tell you to apply for that job that you’ve always dreamt about; nobody’s coming to write the business plan for you. It’s up to you.

Mel Robbins

Song: gonna make sure by senses

Article: The social media lottery by Seth Godin

Thought: The biggest bullshit lie you’ve ever heard is “if you build it, they will come.” No one is coming unless you tell them. Even if you tell them when, where and for what purpose, they still might not be coming. They aren’t showing up for you because they show up for themselves.

You’ve got a lot of choices this Fall for showing up regardless of your industry and interests. For my industry, the Summer gives way to a round of conferences and events. Most are the same as the last one. And why would they be different? You keep showing up so they must be doing something well. I go because to see the people I care all at once in one spot.

Let me offer a suggestion for your next conference: Catalyst+Northwest. Having just attended the OG in San Antonio, I can tell you Catalyst is an un-conference. You don’t walk away wondering what to do next. You don’t sit through a bunch of half-assed presentations created the night before. At Catalyst, you learn skills that you put into practice right away. You hear from inspiring speakers that move you to action, not sleep.

You’ve got choices this Fall. If you can attend one event, choose Catalyst and bring someone with you. Choose yourself and be curious.

Catalyst+Northwest | September 20-22 | Portland, OR

“There it is: activism, when approached with an intentional mindset, is all about creating experiences of meaning. Activism means taking responsibility to find answers to the world’s problems, dedicating yourself to a cause greater than your own interests. Activism doesn’t require a faith home or a spiritual practice; yet activism can feel very spiritual in nature.”

Karen Walrond, The Lightmaker’s Manifesto

Song: Dark Skies by ARIZONA

Article:

Thought: As an ally, I have really struggled to write a blog this month celebrating Pride because I feel that my words have to be perfect to not be mistaken. I’m grateful to those who have helped me understand the challenges and joys of the LGBTQ+ community; yet I still have a lot to learn. Hopefully, these words resonate but, if they misstep, I have a community that will continue to educate me.

Perhaps it’s always been there but I’ve noticed more this year rainbow-washing of logos and rainbow capitalism feel far less sincere and performative than previous years. It started with Target and the manufactured backlash to their Pride collection resulting in moving it from the front of the store. Then MLB teams tiptoeing around Pride celebrations and who gets recognition. And recently, the NHL decided to ban “specialty” jerseys in warm ups (aka Pride-themed). If you are waiting for corporations and sports teams to save us, it’s safe to assume you’ll be waiting a lot longer. Hint: they won’t. Adding a rainbow to your logo or jersey doesn’t change the laws or mean your spaces actual practice inclusion.

Corporations sell Pride merchandise because there is a market for it – they make money. If they didn’t, then they wouldn’t sell it. Sport teams celebrate Pride (or don’t) because they know their audience and know it drives attendance. Rainbow capitalism is performative activism. While I believe the visual show of support is positive it shouldn’t be mistaken for change. Change, the real kind, comes from laws and voting. Politicians in many states advocate for anti-LGBTQ+ laws, scoff at DE&I initiatives, suppress voting through racist measures, create anti-women’s freedom laws and pray on the fear of differences to hold power. They claim it’s to protect children. But who’s children are they protecting? These same corporations, teams, etc. support those leaders.

Celebrate Pride this month but vote in November (and in every election from School Board to President). If you want to be a real ally, it’s more than wearing a rainbow shirt in a parade. It’s doing the hard work to show up advocating every day for better inclusion, policies that create equity and voting for people aligned with that mission. One party has made guns and abortion their central platform; perhaps we need a movement focused on a single issue to unify around: inclusion.

Consider supporting one of these organizations focused on LGBTQ+ advocacy and support:

The Trevor Project: https://www.thetrevorproject.org

The Human Rights Campaign: https://www.thehrcfoundation.org

The Ali Forney Center: https://www.aliforneycenter.org

“Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.”

Antonie de Saint-Exupéry, Author

Song: Tee by DOXY

Article: How expectations transform reality by Ozan Varol

Thought: Cotopaxi is one of my favorite brands. I wish this blog was sponsored so I could get some free stuff but I’m just giving them some love cause their stuff is awesome. Their slogan is “gear for good” promoting sustainability for humans and the planet. The Del Did Collection is an example, which is made from the scrap material of other products.

Each piece is unique because it’s all leftover material saved from the trash. The sewer picks the pieces and creates the bag. If you check the website you can pick a base color but then there’s an array of difference from the zipper pulls to the fabric on the straps.

The bags are a good analogy for me these days. There is a mix of pieces from various parts of life being sewn together into a creation. Some parts where probably meant as trash that have found use again. Some don’t seem to match but, in context, are necessary to complete the whole. The purpose doesn’t change (just like the bag) – serve people, leave the world better than I found it, and be bold. A Cotopaxi bag stands out with its vibrant colors and patchwork design. My patchwork is a feature not a defect. You never know when that leftover part will complete the whole.

“Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves…. Be water my friend.”

Bruce Lee

Song: Take Her by Common Kings

Article: Overwhelmed? Try this. by Ozan Varol

Thought: Every Spring the Boise River floods. It’s very predictable and the City has done a good job creating floodable spaces for it to happen within where homes and people are not at risk. The spaces include parks and trails that don’t require much clean up afterwards. So it mostly just ends up being an inconvenience with some minor detours and closures. We just let the river do its thing.

Last week, I was out for a walk along the trails and came upon the sign saying the trail was flooded and closed. Naturally, I ignored it thinking it couldn’t be that bad or I could find a way around. Neither was true and I ended up ankle deep in water and muddy. Not life threatening but also avoidable if I just followed the sign.

It is tempting to fight the flow and ignore signs. I do it frequently and almost always ends up the same: poorly. Usually with consequences worse than wet feet. I’m slowly learning to stop ignoring signs and forging ahead against the flow. My best work (and life) exist going with the flow, not against it. My best friendships work, not by forcing connection or time, but when I allow them to progress in their seasons. My best parenting happens when I give the signs a flood might be ahead and guide appropriately.

Trying to fight water never ends well – whether it’s from a freeze, a river or an ocean. I appreciate the reminders from people in my life when I might be trying to fight an un-winnable battle against water. Waiting for it to pass is much more pleasant for everyone. This flood will pass. Just like it does every year and the trails are clear to travel.