“In those moments when we realize how much we cannot control, we can learn to let go.”
Sharon Salzberg
Song: Teen Rocket by Tigers Jaw
Article: Be curious, not judgmental (video)
Thought: My intent (what I mean) and my impact (what they feel) often have a gap. I mean to be funny but cause an embarrassment. I mean to be kind but cause suffocation. I mean to be helpful but cause control. Intent is something that flows from my values; only I know my intent. Impact isn’t personal so when I cause something unintended I don’t need to defend it – “I’m sorry, tell me more” goes a long way without “what I meant was…” It’s on the other person to explain the impact because I cannot guess how they feel or think. I’m accountable for my impacts which means apologies, amends and repairs. However, relationships require a two-way street. That is, if you really want one. Making mistakes happens; be curious anyways.