“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”

Maya Angelou

Song: Good Times (Roll On) by Fortunate Youth

Article: This doesn’t work for me by Ozan Varol

Thought: My friend Stephen Sanders has a phrase I love – “get better at hard.” I like the simplicity of the phrase but I also hate what it really means. It means life isn’t going to get easier so I better get stronger.

I’ve been doing a bit of work with a personal trainer and it’s physically manifesting the training I need in my mind, heart and emotions. Each time we meet we focus on a single muscle group (e.g., arms, chest) though failure. We do some sets that basically mean nothing to find the right weight. Doing more than 15 reps means we haven’t found it yet. The goal is 8 to 12 reps where I can barely move the last 2. We also use the cable machine a lot and not the free weights. It keeps tension throughout the rep and focuses on just that one muscle. Building muscle requires it being hard and pushing through the burn for just one more. It requires keeping tension.

My mind tells me make it easy. So each moment I work to make it hard; that’s how it gets easier.

“I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.”

Pablo Picasso

Song: Courage to Grow by Rebelution

Article: The stories you tell yourself by Ozan Varol

Thought: My friend Greg gave me this book Everybody Always by Bob Goff. It’s a book about unconditionally loving one another. Last week, I read a chapter that had a very simple but profound sentence: Be a movement.

The context is about seeing the green lights that are already in front of you and going for it rather than waiting for more green lights to confirm everything will be okay. I have found myself lately waiting for direction, looking for confirmation, and a bit stuck creatively. It’s fleeting seeking approval from others especially when doing something new.

Waiting for the universe to give me direction isn’t the same as following the path it provides. I hear myself saying “strategic” too much as if thinking is going to remove the risks. Movement is about action (i.e., to move). I’m not against planning but I’m very much against procrastination. I think strategic has become the new “safe.” Let’s be strategic means let’s be safe – no risk, no consequence, no criticism.

Blind risk taking is dumb. To be a movement I need to embrace the uncertainty more. To be a movement means creation and creativity that everyone might not like it. Movement is change of direction, speed or approach; it is anything but standing still and status quo. I’ve got plenty of green lights to try to say GO.

Have a bias towards action. Be a movement.

“Music is therapy. Music moves people. It connects people in ways that no other medium can. It pulls the heart strings. It acts as medicine.”

Mackelmore

Song: Devil On My Shoulder by Chelsea Cutler

Thought: Many of you know I’m a super fan of an artist named Chelsea Cutler. I’ve been to many of her shows and met her a couple times. I have her lyrics and signature tattooed on my arm. Her music hits me deep and I discovered it at a very vulnerable time in my life. This weekend I got to see her again in Spokane (Thanks Adri!) and it was so amazing. I even ran into her at a Starbucks and completely froze but managed to get out enough words to ask for a picture.

What makes Chelsea special? I’m an emo kid so her sad girl/heartbreak music hits me right in the feels. Her shows and crowds are fun and I always manage to make new friends around me. She is very vulnerable and authentic about her music, mental health, relationships and the difficulty being a smaller artist. Chelsea teaches me something about marketing too.

1. It’s not for everyone. But it’s for enough people who matter. At every show, everyone knows every song and we all sing together. If you love Chelsea you are diehard for her. It’s enough audience to sell out the venue and remain intimate enough for connection. Her concerts create a community of people who go for everything she does from tiktoks to sweatshirts.
2. Love what you do and who you serve. Artists have to tour now to make money so they go to dozens of cities a year. That’s an incredible amount of time loading, driving, unpacking, performing and doing it again. She clearly loves what she does and puts all her energy into the audience knowing why they are there. She puts on a impactful show whether it’s in Spokane or New York.
3. Be authentic. Her music is incredibly vulnerable. Most of it is about rejections, breakups, and mental health. The lyrics are very personal. At her meet and greets, she answers every question regardless of how shy she is. I appreciate that its not an act – I connect with her music and approach because she is just her being herself. When I do my work is it this authentic?

I want to impact my audience the way she does. Have and show passion for my art/profession. Focus on small, meaningful engagement that impacts people.

“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are. Choosing authenticity means cultivating the courage to be imperfect, to set boundaries, and to allow ourselves to be vulnerable; exercising the compassion that comes from knowing that we are all made of strength and struggle; and nurturing the connection and sense of belonging that can only happen when we believe that we are enough. Authenticity demands Wholehearted living and loving—even when it’s hard, even when we’re wrestling with the shame and fear of not being good enough, and especially when the joy is so intense that we’re afraid to let ourselves feel it. Mindfully practicing authenticity during our most soul-searching struggles is how we invite grace, joy, and gratitude into our lives.”

Brent Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

Song: Hold Me Down by Halsey

Check out the whole Blog Playlist!

Article:

We carry too much guilt about letting others down—and too little fear of letting ourselves down.

We don't fully control whether we live up to others' expectations. We do decide whether we meet our own.

The most important commitments to uphold are the ones you make to yourself.

— Adam Grant (@AdamMGrant) October 30, 2022

Thought: Halloween is my favorite holiday. I love the creativity and joy. Going to parties, going trick or treating and dressing up are so much fun. Pretending to be someone or something else for a night is exciting; trying to be someone else all the time is exhausting.

Authenticity is something shared a lot these days. We should all be able to show up as our true self regardless of culture, race, religion, traditions or orientation. Authenticity is not a license for bigotry, ignorance, racism or sensationalism. If being authentic makes you an asshole, then you are doing it wrong.

Another thing I’ve noticed is using authenticity for show and attention. “Well that’s just who I am” is not an excuse for harming others with your behavior in actions or words.

I’ve changed many times in life – my look, thoughts, opinions, approach, status, and boundaries. That’s called growth. I’m authentically committed to growth and never wearing a mask. I’m also committed to not using authenticity as an excuse for poor behavior. Happy Halloween.

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”

Oprah Winfrey

Song: If You Want Love by NF

Article: ‘America’s Favorite Pie’ by Seth Godin

Thought: The universe has manifested for me in amazing ways but no more so than with my Water Environment Federation friends (WEFriends). After our annual “summer camp” called WEFTEC, I get the opportunity to reflect on these relationships and their impact. Most people have professional organizations that only provide learning and leadership but mine provides lifelong friendships too.

The timing of WEFTEC often falls around my birthday and so I get to spend it with 20,000 of my friends each year. I couldn’t ask for a better gift than time with my favorite people. I know thousands of people involved in WEF thanks to the opportunities I’ve had to serve. Each year, I meet more while rekindling the existing friendships. Thanks to social media and texting we are able to keep in touch and be a part of each other’s lives: joys, suffering, loss, grief, celebration, laughter.

WEF isn’t just an organization for me – its a major part of my social network. I cherish these relationships even as they change – drifting and closer. I wouldn’t be the person I am without these friendships. We challenge and comfort. We celebrate and grieve. We check in on our emotional, mental and physical healths. These friends are my tribe I can always count on. We share a common purpose in creating lives free of water challenges for all.

One special person to me is Aimee Killeen. She is my mentor. She comforts me when I’m sad. She builds me up when I need strength. She gives unconditionally and thoughtfully. Everyone needs an “Aimee” in their lives. I love you so much Aimee. Thank you for always being there for me and making me feel special on my birthdays. It’s okay to feel but we don’t do feelings 🙂

“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.”

Brene Brown

Song: Pursuit of Happiness by Lissie

Article: The Brain Loves A Challenge. Here’s Why. by Richard Sima

Thought: This is post 52. One year of blog posts. I didn’t know what to expect when I started blogging other than I was hoping someone would read it and I’d become a better writer. Thank you to everyone who has read, commented, and mentioned it – it means the world. This journey isn’t ending because I’ve got a lot more to say. I hope you stay with me.

This week is WEFTEC; the largest conference in the water industry. I can’t wait to see all of my friends and hear about their new ideas and tech. After this weekend, I will not have a formal leadership role in the organization for the time in almost 10 years. It feels a bit surreal. I’m happy I can take a break because it means there are many more leaders ready to take my place. I’m honored for the trust people put in me to lead; I’m proud of the legacy I am leaving. I’m grateful for those who are now stepping up to making this the organization they want. It takes a lot of courage to lead – so be courageous.

Today also happens to be my 39th birthday. Another surreal feeling. I’m not that worried about leaving my 30’s but I do think this decade was a beating. I am hopeful it set me up for a joyful 40’s. With one year left, I’ve got a few goals I want to reach:

• Bench press 200 lbs. This goal may seem a bit vain but I know the kinds of activities it will take to get there. I want those activities to be more a part of my life as I get stronger. So the 200 lbs will just be the signpost of all the work.
• Get off Lexapro. Working with my doctors, I want to get off my anxiety medication. There’s nothing wrong with medication and getting the help you need. I want to work towards the other tools I have so that I no longer need that one.
• Say “no” more. To protect my time and energy for the things I really care about I need to learn “no.” I’m terrible at it and seem to take one thing off only to add two. Saying “no” is saying “yes” to my physical and mental health, Judah and myself.
• Take breaks. I stupidly thought having 150 hours of PTO was a good thing. It was not. I’m not doing that again. I’m going to use it like the benefit it is and take time off more frequently. More breaks equals less burnout. It’s not about the hours worked, its about the quality of those hours; however, I feel differently about time off – it is about the hours spent away that are meaningful.

“You can’t look at the competition and say you’re going to do it better. You have to look at the competition and say you’re going to do it differently.”

Steve Jobs

Song: Young Blood by Noah Kahan

Article: White Glove Service by Seth Godin

Thought: I love the return of football season. I’m an avid Washington Husky and Seattle Seahawk fan. As such, I loathe the Oregon Ducks and San Francisco/Santa Clara 49ers. I want my teams to win every week but I equally want those other teams to lose. Sometimes I want them to lose more than I want to win. That’s all fine when it comes to meaningless sports but crosses a personal value when it comes to people.

I love is the two industry conferences I attend in the Fall, PNCWA and WEFTEC. At each, many firms and utilities show up to present their work, innovations and receive awards. Firm to firm, we are typically competition on projects on the playing field of ideas. Many of us have switched teams, changed roles, and retired over the years. These conference remind me who I am rooting for: my friends and our communities.

I welcome rooting for the best ideas that help our communities. I cheer loudly when my competitors/friends present their work and win awards. I respect the profession by honoring the professionals in the arena. Game knows game. We push each other because the people we serve are worth it. When I lose, it just means I need better ideas. I’m grateful for those lessons in losses and the lessons I get to teach my friends too through wins.

Meraki [may-rah-kee] (v.) origin: Greek; to do something with soul, creativity or love, to put something of yourself into your work.

Song: Fine by Kyle Hume

Thought: My local professional association conference (PNCWA) was last week. I’ve been going for the last 15 years and have found it to be one of the most important events for friendship and mentorship. The word that best describes my experience is meraki.

• Things change, people don’t. Like me, many of these friends have grown a lot over 15 years but they remain the same amazing bunch. We’ve changed companies and roles but they as humans are pretty much the same. I love that.
• Bring on the change. We have many traditions; most are fine. I’m ready for the change that’s coming. There were many new attendees this year. I hope they reshape the organization to reflect their priorities and values. It’s been a breathe of fresh air to see us move the sessions from just wastewater focused into diversity, equity and inclusion, leadership and mentorship and communications.
• You don’t know as much as you think you know. Frankly, many people are going through a lot of shit personally. Many choose to do this silently. Be kind because you have know idea what someone is facing each day.
• Celebrate. The pandemic taught me how easily this conference could be taken away. My friend Mike had a birthday while at the conference. At karaoke night, about 80 people sang him “Happy Birthday.” Mike is in his 60’s and had never had that experience before. Special moments come from simple acts so let’s celebrate each other every chance we get.
• Get involved. Nothing has helped my career more than my involvement in PNCWA and the relationships I made there. Roles from participating on a committee to serving on the Board – and many in-between. I learned a lot about running meetings, leading groups and tracking progress thanks to PNCWA. I have built lifelong friendships that help me in the hardest times. I’m grateful for all the support and mentorship.

Meraki means to do something with soul, creativity or love. I can’t think of anything where I see this lived more than PNCWA.

“Don’t waste your time looking back. You’re not going that way.”

Ragnar Lothbrok

Song: King Without A Crown by Matisyahu

NEW PLAYLIST: I’ve taken all the songs from each week’s blog and created a Spotify Playlist. Follow for updates each week.

Article: Ragnar’s Best Speeches (spoilers)

Thought: I finished the show Vikings and it was incredible. So many great characters and moments. The screenplay made you feel like you really lived with the characters through heartbreak and triumph. The show connected me to my Norse heritage more than I thought one could.

My grandfather, Helgea Sorenson, immigrated to the US from Norway. He lived in a small valley outside Oslo called Drangsholt. Coming through Ellis Island, he was told he had a girl’s name and they changed it to Helger. Because there were so many Sorensons where they lived, they had trouble getting their mail so they changed their last name to Drangsholt. My grandfather’s name became Helger Steven Drangsholt; he was ironically called “Swede” as long as I knew him. My name is Steven Helger Drangsholt.

Many times during Vikings a character would yell “I am Viking!” and pound their chest. To be Viking is to not back down from a challenge. To be Viking is to set your mind and heart to something pursuing it to your death. To be Viking is to protect your tribe. To be Viking is to trust the gods have already set the times, places and fates ahead of you. To be Viking is to be a warrior and lover with intense passion. To be Viking is to make mistakes. To be Viking is to grieve and mourn.

The heart of a Viking is in me. Passed down from my grandfather to my father to me. I pass this heart to my son. We are warriors, farmers, philosophers, lovers and creatives – We are Viking.

“Let go or be dragged.”

Zen Proverb

Song: Shapeshifting by Taylor Acorn

Article: Why Repeating Yourself Is a Good Thing by Adam Grant

Thought: One of my favorite mountain biking routes is called Shane’s Loop. I’ve done it a hundred times and never get bored. I know every turn, every climb, every downhill corner and the right gear for each part. Knowing what’s coming doesn’t make it any easier and I’m completely gassed when finished. It’s just difficult enough to scare off the beginners but not so hard that it’s demoralizing to try.

Life feels a lot like Shane’s Loop right now. I’ve been on the same trail before but the uphill parts don’t get an easier even as I get stronger. I might know the right gear but it still requires grinding and breathing. I keep choosing the trail knowing the pain that’s coming rather than turn around or change routes.

What keeps me going is knowing I’ve done it before and survived every time. Eventually, I make it to the top of the hill. Eventually, I get to the downhill where I can coast. Eventually, I get to the bottom where water and change of clothes waits.