Thought: My theme of 2022 is Fear or Love? inspired by the musical tick, tick…BOOM! The Netflix musical tribute to Jonathan Larson (famous for Rent) and his dream was beautiful; it was hopeful, inspiring, foreboding joy, humorous, and painful. I won’t spoil your chance to experience that journey. This year, I will ask myself – is this fear or love? My actions will show my choice and I plan to choose love a lot. I don’t have time to chose fear. Love – knowing it might break me to pieces, knowing it might be lonely, knowing I’ve got more to give, and knowing its the courageous choice. The people in my life need my love and not my fear.
Thought: I’m a huge space nerd (Exhibit A: Space LEGOs in my living room). The last two weeks has been all about the James Webb Space Telescope (JWST). JWST looks at the infrared spectrum to travel back in time to the universe’s beginnings (13.6 billion years ago). As the universe expands, the wavelength of light moves from ultraviolet and visible into infrared due to redshift (the light stretches as objects move away). So too with my light – it seems less visible than it once was. But it needs a telescope that looks at where I was (context) and where I’ve gone (growth). Looking at my origin shows the echos of my light; still here, but on a different wavelength needing a different tool to see.
“Water does not resist. Water flows. When you plunge your hand into it, all you feel is a caress. Water is not a solid wall, it will not stop you. But water always goes where it wants to go, and nothing in the end can stand against it. Water is patient. Dripping water wears away a stone. Remember that, my child. Remember you are half water. If you can’t go through an obstacle, go around it. Water does.”
Margaret Atwood from The Penelopiad
Song: Calling All Angels by Chelsea Cutler (with Quinn XCII). This was my most listened to song in 2021 and I got the chance to meet both Chelsea and Mike (Quinn XCII).
Thought: I don’t buy flipping the calendar changes things but 2021 was pretty rough so here’s to a hopeful 2022 through actions.
This post is normally where I show the stack of books I read during the previous year but I’m going to do something a little different. I am going to share about just three books. Three books everyone should read regardless of your craft or career stage.
The Practice by Seth Godin. A compilation short lessons about what it means to do great work and focus on your practice, not your results. “We don’t do it to win, we do it to contribute…..The practice is its own reward.”
The Infinite Game by Simon Sinek. Best known for Start with Why, Simon lays out the argument to think about your effort and impact over a longer time scale. The goal is to keep playing the game and changing the rules to do so. This book is better than Start with Why. “Where finite-minded organizations view people as a cost to be managed, infinite-minded organizations prefer to see employees as human beings whose values cannot be calculated….”
Think Again by Adam Grant. With the polarization our culture has experienced over the last few years, Adam’s perspective on rethinking couldn’t be more timely. With research backed evidence, he argues that we are only as effective as our ability to challenge black/white thinking and change our viewpoints. “The risk is that we become so wrapped in preaching that we’re right, prosecuting others who are wrong, and politicking for support that we don’t bother to rethink our own views.”
Honorable mentions. Okay I lied here’s some additional books:
Thought: Mediocre adj. (me-de-o-ker) of moderate or low quality, value, ability, or performance. Ordinary. so-so. Synonym: Meh. Growing up I used “meh” a lot with friends. Thank The Simpsons I suppose. Meh party. Meh game. Meh movie/show. Meh day. I’ve been fortunate to know people who only settle for extraordinary and shun meh. I’ve had clients where meh gets you canned. I’m told I have “high expectations” but I just don’t have patience for meh work. Lately, I’ve seen an increase in meh-style leadership; people who exhibit and accept subpar performance and lower expectations. Meh isn’t memorable. Meh doesn’t create change (for the better). The people I serve deserve better than just meh effort from me. I won’t be watering down my work, exceptions or effort anytime soon. I don’t want meh in my relationships either.
“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain!”
Dolly Parton
Song: Get The Best of Me by Kid Mac
Article:The Death of You by Ozan Varol (Warning: this article is quite challenging to read and reflect on)
Thought: I’m watching Sex Eduction on Netflix; Otis asks his mom Jean, “Do you think I’m a casual-relationships kind of guy?” Her response is “I think you’re the sort of person who wants meaningful connection.” They are taking about romantic relationships but it applies to friendship. I associate casual with meaningless. I don’t have casual friendships with anyone very well; I don’t do acquaintances. Either they are meaningful connections or fade to nothing. I love hard and hurt hard too. The rest of Jean’s answer to Otis is “But I also think it’s good for you to try different types of relationships.”
Thought: On a hike I came upon a small rattlesnake in the center of the trail. It shook its tail and coiled up to warn me it was there. It lunged at me and hissed repeatedly. To be fair, I did sneak up on it. I gave it distance and walked around it but it never took its eyes off me. It came at me a few more times as I walked away. Although I meant it no harm, my presence was enough to set it off. Maybe it just got a shitty email. Maybe it got interrupted while speaking. Maybe it’s just its nature – strike before anyone gets too close. Walking away kept me safe but it didn’t do much for the next hiker to come along.
“In those moments when we realize how much we cannot control, we can learn to let go.”
Sharon Salzberg
Song: Teen Rocket by Tigers Jaw
Article: Be curious, not judgmental (video)
Thought: My intent (what I mean) and my impact (what they feel) often have a gap. I mean to be funny but cause an embarrassment. I mean to be kind but cause suffocation. I mean to be helpful but cause control. Intent is something that flows from my values; only I know my intent. Impact isn’t personal so when I cause something unintended I don’t need to defend it – “I’m sorry, tell me more” goes a long way without “what I meant was…” It’s on the other person to explain the impact because I cannot guess how they feel or think. I’m accountable for my impacts which means apologies, amends and repairs. However, relationships require a two-way street. That is, if you really want one. Making mistakes happens; be curious anyways.
Thought: Jon Acuff wrote a book called Soundtracks about filling your head with a new soundtrack rather than the self defeating, insecure, and destructive one most of us run on default. Here is the soundtrack I read out loud to myself daily:
In order to love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you.
Empathy is communicating that incredible healing message of “you are not alone.” (Brene Brown)
Curiosity beats criticism.
You’re actually not a mess at all; you’re just a feeling person in a messy world. (Glennon Doyle)
If I’m going to predict the future, I might as well pick a positive one. (Jon Acuff)
I’m here to get it right, not to be right (Brene Brown)
I choose my thoughts that lead to my emotions that result in my actions. No one takes that control from me.
Every time I said to myself “I can’t take this anymore” I was wrong. (Glennon Doyle)
I’ll disappoint everyone else before I’ll disappoint myself. (Glennon Doyle)
Connection not container.
Expectation ends in a period; hope ends with a comma but. (Rachael Root)
What do I have to learn here? (Ted Lasso)
Let go to let grow.
Create the soundtrack you need to change your mind.
Thought: My favorite exercise is called ball slams. I grab the heaviest ball we’ve got (45 lbs) and I drive that thing into the ground until I can’t lift my arms. Not recommend inside apartments. This exercise forces me to focus: breathe (in to lift, out to slam), posture (protect the back), and mental (just one more). Breathe, body and mind have a single objective – put that fucking (sorry Janet) ball through the floor. Everything I do well comes down to focus. “Doing” eight things at once leaves me disappointed with lackluster results. Better to get all my effort going towards one objective than spread thin accomplishing little.
